Getting motivated!

I have found that I have lost my umpf again.

I need to get back into live, it amazes me that I can be so committed to something and if I have a span of time away, I am reluctant to go back.

From working out to working at the fire house, I just have to stay motivated or I don't feel part of the project.

I guess I am afraid everything has changed completely and I will stutter along without a flow.

You know that comfort level you feel, when you are really a part of the system, a feeling that you are a important clog. I know we are all replaceable, but I like to have the illusion of being irreplaceable. It it a little white lie that makes me feel important.

I found out after my first job that I wasn't irreplaceable.. I really thought with the blood, sweat and tears I put into my first job they couldn't go on without me. I was wrong, they didn't close up shop or become so despondent without me that everyone was on a suicide watch. Kidding!

I just have to get over the first hump and I will be fine. It would just make me feel a lot better if people pined away and showed they missed me by taking out full page ads in the paper.

I guess I just have to soldier on, on my own.